Change... People change the nature of their future… They change their opinions.. They change the way they look.. They change their personalities and standards… They change moods… They change rules… They change schools… They change homes.. They grow up and with each different stage.. They change to adapt… and with that… They change lifestyles..
I hate change… My life started as I know it in seventh grade… I was shy, always hiding behind the shadows of my amazing, loved, and popular siblings… I was never smart, never pretty, never shone in any way.. But it was okay.. Because my sister, my half, was and is still the smartest and most beautiful girl I will ever know.. So because she’s a part of me… It was like I was the beautiful and smart one…
In seventh grade, one of my friends introduced me to her group… a group of girls… That’s when my life began…
When middle school was over, I was afraid high school would change us.. It didn‘t… When high school was over I was afraid graduating would change us.. It didn’t.. Although every older person said it would… My best friends became my family, the people who see right through me… We have become each others’ escape from reality… We study together… We eat together… We practically live together… Their families are my families and vice versa… Now, our college life is almost over… Now, change is inevitable.. We can’t avoid it.. We can’t escape it.. We can’t CHANGE it!
Some of us will go study abroad… Some of us will join competitive firms that will keep us busy… Some will get married… Change isn’t bad… Its hard… It seems as if I’m a kid that enjoys being in her protective bubble and afraid to go into the real world.. Maybe that is the case… Maybe its not… I’m not sure…
Today… I realized that change causes some frustration and confusion, especially to those who are not ready to adjust to that change… people like me… I just wanted to say this… to everyone facing change… to my best friends…
Priorities change, careers, husbands, children will come first…But no one will ever know me as much as you do.. No one will know every cut, every smile, every fall, every heartbreak, every triumph, every mistake, every detail of our childhood… We will all get married and have children… We probably will reunite every once in a while.. Not nearly enough… But no matter how apart we might seem to be, I will still be the escape from your reality… when you need a best friend… always and forever…
This year?
4 months ago
I love you
ReplyDeletelol ana akthar;****
ReplyDeletewow... you just detailed everything i felt when things started to change,,
ReplyDeleteall my friends are married except me and now i feel lost but in times its good.. coz when we meet its like we never were apart..
i like your writing,, you should write more often..
Stand-Alone~: thank you wayed for understanding.. my friends and i are in that phase eli things aren't changing yet bss 7adhum about to change faa i had to get it out of my system bss its really nice to knw enna someone understands lol cuz everyone else keeps saying "grow up 7addech yahel"
ReplyDeleteyour not a yahel at all..
ReplyDeletei feel like im loosing my friends too, bs it all started when we started jam3a, they all had the same major, i was in a different campus, COMPLETELY different major.. they did their own thing left me out, its been 3 years they still do,, they have their own lives together, i dont, i live alone, i admit, ive got loads of friends in uni bs i dont go beyond jam3a friendship, i miss them, i feel left out, bs theres nothing i can do, ana ilkhasrana in the end not them. theyre enjoying their lives, im stuck in the past but i still love them more than nething and i still try my best to make "us" go back like the sisters we were.. mu 3aib ena you admit it.. change is harsh.. its been three years, i still cant accept the change.
(ehehehe 7asait im talking to psychiatrist;p)
anonymous: Lol i could be ur psychiatrist eheheh... you remind me of one of my closest friends.. e7na kelena re7na kuleya.. and she went to another one... bss in our case, we didn't leave her out.. she was going thru things and no matter how much i tried to help, she wouldn't let me in eb awal senna jam3a.. She's still a sister to me.. and always will be... bss i can understand how you feel.. its unfair because entay u chose the path that suits u best.. oo 9aa3ab bel jam3a t9ereen close ma3a nass mat3arfeenhum.. mo methel ur friends eli bel madressa eli u grew up with oo t3arfen ahalhum oo kel detail 3n their life oo u trust them... Sometimes you just wanna go back to the way things used to be when we were kids... My advice to u is keep in touch ma3aahum.. keep on trying, bs mo lai daraja eli u go out of ur way for them to notice.. let them do some work too..;** Lool 7addi garga!
ReplyDeleteThis post really touched me :)
ReplyDeleteMy closest group of friends and I have been together for 13 years and counting mashallah. During school we were like sisters, young, happy and did everything together. When we graduated, all 6 of us went in separate paths, literally. Each in a different koleya/major. It's been 5 years now and not once have we lost touch il7amdellah. We see each other a lot and talk on a daily/weekly basis, wela chena kil wa7da ib 9ob, we're just so used to each other.
However, I was the one that chose to study abroad. I left them and started a whole new life and was in a different world. To an extent that everytime I went back to Kuwait in the holidays and we hung out, a7is iny metghayra - THROUGH them. Not to a great digree, but it felt as if they were still the same happy girls from highschool, and I was 10 years older. Then I started to realise that they became closer to each other, o 6ab3an tadreen when ppl start jam3a, fee akthar 7oreya. Fa they started going out more and seeing each other more. They started to drive together, their bond grew stronger as they grew up and matured together...
When I first realised this I felt so sad and left out. To the point where I actually hated that I chose to go abroad. And like you said it's hard to make friends in uni ily you can keep close and feel comfortable with.
But I'd have to say il7amdellah I'm lucky, because not once have they neglected me and I still feel as important as any one else in the group, if not more... Bas mahma kan, I missed out on us "entering the real world" (the stage from highschool to the first couple of yrs in jam3a) together because that would've been so fun to share with them.
As for change, I'm used to change now. 7ayati kelha changes, wela shay feeni mestiqir and I'm always floating around, waiting for one thing to change from the other. I guess with time we just have to learn to accept change. Things don't always stay as they are and most of the time change will be for the best, hopefully. Aham shay il eman ballah wil tafa2ol. :)
elieruby: 7addi i was touched by what you wrote.. I admire you so much for studying abroad.. actually i'm kinda jealous... It has always been my dream enni adress barra.. le2anna when i graduated from highschool i had so much potential oo 7asait enna no way adesh jam3a bel kwait... ahali ma rethaw cuz they always see me as this kid eli they need to protect... all of us decided enro7 mokan... ana kent abi 6eb.. oo my best friend handasa.. welii different jam3a.. weli 3emaara.. weli amreeka.. oo kelena ghair.. faj2a.. all of us accidently went to the same exact place.. fa even though we had spent our childhoods together... our friendship grew much stronger le2anna we went thru more bel jam3a... bss now... things will change whether we like it or not.. 3araftay? methel when u went abroad.. oo methel ma geltay.. change isn't bad.. bss we're afraid of it.. ma nabi nsafer, ma nabbi we take risks... ma nabbi new adventures.. cuz what we're used to is safe and comfortable.. bss i think its time we all go live our adventures.. oo things will change! bss no matter what.. we'll always come back to where it all started.. and we'll still have eachother.. my mom.. matshof her two best friends now ela once every three years maybe.. bss no matter how many other friends she has... her highschool friends are still the dearest to her heart.. thank you;******
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